In a communication vacuum, assumption and suspicion rule.
I started using this statement years ago to remind myself and those I worked with how important it is to keep the lines of communication open. Particularly in situations where tension or problems have existed in the past, it’s important to let people know what’s going on—even if it’s nothing.
Earlier this week, I got a reminder of this concept from Harvard Business Review. HBR passed along three steps to take if your desire/request/ expectation for information is being met with silence:
1. Accept that you don’t know. Acknowledge that you don’t know what the silence really means. Resist the temptation to fill in the blanks with your own insecurities.
2. Ask for clarity. Reach out to the person, and ask him to tell you why he’s not responding. [I’d suggest doing this tactfully, not with an accusatory tone. Try: “Just wondering if I can do anything to help you answer my question. Any info you have would be helpful. Thanks.”]
3. Believe the answer. Whatever the response—he was too busy, he forgot—don’t read between the lines. Accept it as truth and move on.
I know sometimes I can contribute to assumption and suspicion because I don’t respond quickly or communicate enough. But if I fill the communication vacuum honestly, openly and often, I can help reduce assumption and suspicion—and that benefits everyone involved.
Why do you think it can be so difficult to communicate honestly, openly and often?
This is so true in any environment, a lesson everyone should learn in the pursuit of serving and loving others.
Thank you for this precise post!
Our fulltime staff just watched a DVD from Andy Stanley called Trust vs. Suspicion. It was excellent. He spoke about how in the absence of information we can choose to fill it with trust or suspicion. He went into details about trusting others and developing your character to be worthy of trust. We’ll be watching it again this summer and using it as a discussion starter with our summer staff. He’s speaking from a church staff perspective, but it is very easy to make the bridge to camp ministry staff.
The DVD is available from North Point. http://resources.northpoint.org/store/shop.do?pID=1634