A teen daughter tells her parents she’s pregnant. An account executive tells his president he’s lost the firm’s biggest client. A truck driver tells his boss he’s just rolled a wheat truck off a 10-foot bank.
I’ve only been present for the last situation, but I know the other communication happens from time to time, and I know they’re not easy messages to deliver or receive.
Have you ever had to carry bad news to someone—a boss, your spouse, a parent or perhaps your board of directors?
What were your fears going in, and what response did you receive?
Now turn the tables. What if you were the boss, the spouse or the parent? Have you received stunning or disappointing news?
How did you respond?
Parents who respond with love and grace to the worst and most difficult of news often are the ones who can maintain a close relationship with their kids over time. Bosses who express acceptance and acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes usually are respected and appreciated by their staff. Board members who express understanding and support even while receiving bad news can foster wonderful camaraderie and mutual respect with the CEO.
These are the ones people want to please, like to work with and enjoy serving alongside.
I’m a stickler for quality and for doing things “right.” I acknowledge that at times that can make me a difficult parent or a tough boss. But deep down, I want my kids to know that I love them no matter what and to ensure staff that I am committed to their success.
How do you want to react when receiving surprising—and maybe even awful—news? I can assure you it’s helpful to prepare in advance, even to role-play in your mind, because in the heat of the moment you may need to draw from every ounce of preparation you’ve made ahead of time.
Have you had someone extend extraordinary grace and patience to you? What did that expression do for you? Have you shown the opposite: impatience, frustration, anger? Do you believe it’s possible to expect the highest quality and performance while still showing grace and understanding when inevitable bad news comes?
Jesse,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I agree with your assessment that the only way to regularly respond to bad news in a Christlike way is to be regularly at His feet, learning from Him.
Gregg
I think the situations that you are talking about, Gregg, are the very reason for us to be growing in our faith on a practical level in small amounts every day. As a young Christian, my initial response when delivered bad news like that would probably have been anger and yelling, which would have revealed my true heart. It’s funny how surprise reveals the true heart. But now, as I’ve grown in the Lord, my response would be more like Christ because I have grown more like Christ slowly, slowly, over the years.
I don’t think it’s fair to God or myself to expect myself to handle hard situations in a Christ-like way if I’m not regularly making myself like Christ when situations are easier. It’s like never taking a CPR class but then expecting myself to be able to rescue someone when they almost drown!
So I think you are preparing for this kind of thing every day as you grow in the Lord.